I’m going to go through a list of your co-stars and you tell me what you think of them.
my dream is to be called a motherfucker by samuel l jackson
this guy is systematically undoing the world
The La Brea Tar Pits translates to “The The Tar Tar Pits.” Los Angeles is terrible at naming stuff.
"i need a movie where there are kickass female characters"
"i need a movie where the main characters aren’t attractive"
"i need a movie with annoying talking animals"
"i need a movie where the main character lives in a swamp"
"i need a movie that has all star by smash mouth on the soundtrack"
|—||my uncle left this comment on his friend’s Facebook status, a white British man who was bragging about how easy it is to be a native English speaker when trekking to different nations. (via maarnayeri)|
Women wear heels now so we don’t have to step in the blood of our enemies
Your boyfriend eating the pussy:
Me eating the pussy:
I want a movie about a guy who runs for president and wins but then suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want to be president, so he just starts doing ridiculous things all the time trying to get impeached, but it NEVER WORKS because they always miraculously end up…
look out world, july cinnabon flavored coffee chillatta is on his way
june matzoh ball soup
January Chicken Nuggets 20 Piece.
I dont know how I feel about this
People round these parts call me November Garlic Toast
June Mandarin, but most of the boys just call me Mandy. ;)
September Two Pieces of Chocolate, Flavour Unidentified. My life just got even less sexy.
Tips for being an adult:
- there are none
- don’t become an adult
- stay a child forever
- Peter Pan was right